A confession.

I accidentally stumbled across Shauna and her blog (like one does .. on some of the best blogs) and stuck there like glue - going through her archives and reading up on gluten and what it was. I read as far as back as I could and came back again to read some more. I saw parallels there and sent links to all my avid blog-reader friends. But it was still not enough. I kept going through each of her posts and reading how she developed a new lifestyle and a new outlook to combat her lifestyle change. And I could not have enough of her.

But at that point something kept nagging me.. needling me. Like one of the voices in my head.. which kept telling me Cmon..come clean. I started this blog only to write about my so called cooking attempts, while in Mumbai. But a lot of that really changed when I moved to Delhi.

Just before moving cities, I was diagnosed with a high sugar count and ,therefore, type II diabetes. It was like I was given an agenda even before I moved to a new city. I had enough on my plate.. like new jobs, making new friends, extreme weather and no transportation in a strange city that had little public transport. My mother was certain this new development was a sign, of among other things, to stay back. "How will you cook properly," she insisted. My dad supported me and believed in me and thats how nearly a year later, am more comfortable talking about it.

In one stroke sugar was eliminated from my food. So I tried to develop a taste for tea and coffee and cereal without sugar. It was not an option I could like or hate, but something I had to live with it. My doctor kept trying to explain to me.. you do not have a disease but it is a lifestyle change and will help you to live a healthier life.

What I initially thought was just giving sugar also meant giving up potatoes (at least on an everyday basis), bread (too much of it), most processed food (like Maggi and processed soups), eggs and seafood (this was because of a freak allergy to sea food which led to a findings in the blood), no ketchup and no desserts and among other sweet thingies, even no CHOCOLATE.

When I started my new 'diet' I actually thought I would not be able to give up chocolate and wondered how I would live for the rest of my life without sweets. I thought a good remedy would be not to bring any sweets home. After all since I lived alone, no point courting trouble and expecting my willpower to toe the line.

But my new colleagues made sure my will power become one of steel. As a rule there were sweets in office every single day - rasgullas, ras malai, pastris, cakes, gulab jamuns... there was always something.. and I learned to say no. Every day to look at something luscious and sweet and still say no. Today I can look at a delectable lchocolate pastry and say NO. It means a lot to me, who could never resist chocolate that was in the fridge and always inviting my sister's ire (because I would finish my chocolate and then hers too).

That has perhaps been my biggest sacrifice. I am cooking vegetables I would not have touched back home, only because I cannot fry an egg or just eat some boiled potatoes. I am learning to be inventive with salads and liking the adventure in it. Sugar Free and other sugar substitutes are an intergral part of of me now with low fat food products. I look for diet, low-fat and sugar free products. And when my roommate brings back yummy chocolates and stores them in the fridge, I dont feel like sneaking them out in the middle of night and gobbling them down.

Its had plus points too. I eat more or less healthier stuff. Am learning there can be a life without chocolate too. Desserts in seasonal fruits can be as delicious. On my birthday, a colleague went through the trouble to get a cake made in sweetner so that I would not just look at the chocolate cake but eat it too. My roommate gave me a delicious bottle of sugar free jam of strawberries, just so that am not totally bereft of jam. And ice cream stores and cafes who make ice creams and milkshakes meant for people like me. Its been a revealing journey so far..

Of course I cheat.. but this time if I cheat it has immediate repercussions on my health so as far as possible I try not to.

I am hoping I can blog more about my experiences while cooking and this food blog will have more recipes and tips on how to cook for one .. keeping in mind the dietary restrictions for diabetes. Hope it does help someone in a similar predicament.